Douchebag Inc, the New Beijing Multinational?

According to the Online Slang Dictionary, a douchebag is:

[noun ]
a derogatory term, used most often to describe males; JERK, ASS-HOLE. He’s such a douche bag. (Submitted by M. Ebie, Akron, OH, USA, Sep 30 1997. )
an excessively self-obsessed person, usually male. (Submitted by Anonymous, Nov 01 2003.)
a person who intentionally acts like a jerk to appear cool or to show off. (Submitted by Rusty, Cleveland, OH, USA, May 01 2009.)

douchebag

Over the past few weeks, the word “Douchebag” has made frequent apparitions in many a conversation around Beijing. 2 nights ago, i was enjoying a “quiet” drink with a friend serenaded by repeated F-bombs from a table behind us: “F—g drink” “F— that shit” “F—-g A all right”…. you get the idea. My friend finally turned around and said: “wow, great variety in the vocabulary”! Admittedly, we’re all guilty of dropping F bombs around and getting one drink too many but not to the point of being the loudest thing in a bar with a good 30 people around.
The following day, while having lunch with another good friend, the word Douchebag made another appearance in the conversation much in the same context as the previous night albeit without the presence of what could be considered a Douchebag.

To make a long story short, a few things stood out from both conversations:

  1. What’s the Beijing attraction factor ? Surely, there are other places where the life is cheaper, less visa hassles, cheap drinking and it’s easier to get laid! So why Beijing? I mean really.. why Beijing?
  2. A recent article on the New York Times did it’s fair share of misrepresentation on the situation which will probably lead more Douchebags to come over.
  3. The few people that have been here for a long time are not happy with the situation as they see it! are there signs of a rift between the generations of expats? I sure think so!

At the end of the day, more and more folks will end up in Beijing and the proportion of Douchebags will increase even more! GuideSpot might have a few pointers on how to recognize and categorize them! For all practical purposes, we all got a little douchebag in us… can we keep it under control? It’s kinda like saying “I hate bigots which makes me a bigot”.

So maybe it’s time to buy stock in Douchebag Inc, I predict rapid growth and increased market cap

I leave you with an adaptation of Jummy Buffet’s I-95 Asshole song adapted for the occasion:


Were you born a douchebag?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
‘Cause you’re a douchebag tonight

Yes you’re a D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G
And don’t you try to blame it on me
You deserve all the credit
You’re a douchebag tonight

You were a douchebag yesterday
You’re a douchebag tonight
And I’ve got a feelin’
You’ll be a douchebag the rest of your life

And I was talkin’ to your mother
Just the other night
I told her I thought you were a douchebag
She said, “Yes, I think you’re right”

And all your friends are a douchebags
‘Cause you’ve known them your whole life
And somebody told me
You’ve got a douchebag for a wife

Were you born a douchebag?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
‘Cause you’re a douche…bag tonight

Bring on the comments.. looking forward to them!!

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3 Responses

  1. Lady Expat says:

    Easier to get laid? Not if you’re a female expat!

  2. Beijing Daze says:

    uhm.. I think you misread what i wrote! It’s meant as ” It’s easier to get laid in other places than Beijing” for males and females…

  3. Lady Expat says:

    Yep, you’re right. I skimmed. I’m a douche-bag!